skinigirl

Yesterday when i went insane i remember u before 4 years when u said  we'll be only friends no more comments i remember  how it was shocking and hurting even my ant got angry and she shouted on me (all this you crying for a man)!! And by the way u'll never be a man
I never put my head own the floor but i have putted it when u told me this fact  

i never listened even though she was the most important person in my life
  i was like a butterfly who was going after the flame and she didn't know that it will burn her wings and she will be just like warm's who r on the grass without any colours my friend how much i love u but u never deserved my pure heart and twisted mind until now i cry on u  : ) i even don't want to see u any more even though i wish to see u once again and hug u but i don't want to cuz i know how ur heart is made of stone even the stones Quran say's it get braked by water or afraid from god but ur heart is much harder than a stone  : ) since three years i couldn't love anybody even though  i liked some people but whenever they get close i hated them I'm so lost and lonely i can't fell about anybody any thing
too cold like a dead person who will never life this world again i wish u'll never find true love even from ur mother yeah i love u to much but i wish ur heart will never find peace just like u did to me!! U r just like the criminals who kill the person and never appears again
but u know most of the criminals leave some threads u know maybe if even u came back and apologist maybe i'll forgive u but where will u go from God!! The whole year i was asking u do u love me u told me i don't know i don't want to answer and when u graduated u just answered my stupid question that u don't love me!! U played with me like a stupid puppet and trough me when u got feed up like a selfish  child who had so many toys and play's with it when he gets feed up he just trough them and damage them i don't know what to say i don't want to cry in front of u cuz the enemy is more merciful then u .
I don't want u to give my love back and i really don't want anything from u but i just want one thing from God to do it that u'll suffer so badly and never lose ur mind cuz when u lose ur mind like me some times u don't fell about anything and u see people  talking about u and u just cry and say in ur self that u r not insane i don't wish anybody to lose their mind cuz the pain u'll fell is just the worst and u'll hate ur self i just remember the last date for us before i enter the hospital i came back by buss and all the people looking at me like an alien and i thought for one second that they r against me until a women came and talked to me r u all right i told her yeah i just have flue and i didn't know that they were looking at me cuz i was talking to myself and crying  i'm not a drama Queen as u said the real thing is that i loved u and i lost my mind cuz of ur selfish acts i don't want anybodies sympathy and i'm not writing this for any reason just to tell u that i'll never wish for u to be happy just like u did to me and one day i wish to forget u forever and u'll be just the ground that i walk on

(by the way my writings sucks but i just write to be happy : ) )

sjwa

some time's when we miss the life in our heart's we touch staunches and try to seek the sense that we miss we know that these staunches had a life before but they missed it and there heart's just were so lonely and empty like us and they become like this to stony and the kids who there life were token they return to dolls and they play people with money and have worm home's they buy them but there kid's are not wear how did these doll's lived there past life some will torn it to seek for other doll's and some will love them and some will be aware about there past life so they will become friends but some of them will be so wiked that they will take the kids body to live there life so beware of doll's but  staunches don't have any soul they have only eyes to look at the people who misses life's like them before they become  staunches

  skinigirl

(sjwa)

3 or 4 days maybe a week nothing i would know from the first i'm a illusionist only beveling what's in my head i wish if u'll come back i would have a war with every body but i know nothing related to u would show i know God is there but maybe it's a exam from me i don't want to lose faith it's hard to wait and u know nothing is coming but no body knows tomorrow maybe u'll apeare once in the life time like the sonami who will take every thing away and u would take every sadness away and make me smile once again and wipe those tears away but u never apear or maybe u don't like it and don't want some body who would be insane and have dirty nails but u don't know what's in her mind and u'll never know i wish to go before any one apears


i know u are not there : )


skinigirl

hey dear today is my birthday and last night i read two article's and i felt it's u i'm sure that u are the one i cried alot wanted to hug u kiss ur head but it seems u are far away so far i was waiting for ur reply  but u didn't reply just like my emails it never reached u is it true u still have the same feelings for me,is it really that u suffered like me three years? where are u today are u happy satisfied alone or whats up with u?! so many people tried to come close to me but my heart refused them all is it only u or it's my illusions i really don't know i'm confused and lost i really want u to come back. don't u feel my heart i am so afraid u'll hurt me again like before i don't know. i know it's my third birthday without u and i wish this candel we blow it together my dear all i want is to die between ur arms and i 'll always love u

so remember i'm not like others i may not look beautiful and don't know how to talk and never look at some one in the eye but i want to spend my rest of life with u so if ur there just say hi from a distance and hug me let me put ur light in my eyes so i will see this world colored once again



love ya

My sis Naomi told me today that i'm a brand geek she also told me if it's in my hands i would turn every thing in my hands to brands

she say's if i had a nice body and i was in the u.s i would be the plastic perfect girl cuz i make fun about other people and some times i'll be so snobbish and act like stupid girls but i told her in my all years in school specially high school i was the freak

and i don't make fun about others
cuz once i was like cindrella but my prince dumped me after the boll and forget all about my shoes

maybe i'm a horrible person but i have feelings am maybe i had bad conditions but i feel about other maybe i have a big dark side inside me

but who is without dark sides only saint's and profit's don't have it cuz god chose them and they are our models i really don't know what to do i'm confused and lost

maybe i'm a plastic girl but i have feeling and i know what does a freak feels


my second shot